Have you ever seen the rain?
by Startisparticus2017
Summary: What really transpired between the boys after Kira? I am rating this T, there are some naughty words...FYI.


**STARSKY & HUTCH**

Based on Episode: Starsky vs Hutch

Written by Startisparticus, December 16th, 2016

Published March 31, 2017

I do not own the characters, I simply borrow them for entertainment purposes only. I don't receive compensation. I do not own the song represented in this story, nor do I receive compensation for the use of this song. The lyrics are simply borrowed.

 **Have You Ever Seen the Rain?**

It was 11:00 pm.

Starsky sat slumped in the Torino in the parking lot at Bay City Police Department with the radio playing, his mood somber. Starsky brushed at some dust on the shoulder of his jacket and mumbled, "Shoulda' held that grenade a little longer and scared the crap out of him."

Starsky was hurt and furious with Hutch who had been in a spiral of self-destruction for quite some time. In addition finding his so called 'best friend and partner' with his girlfriend Kira and it's not for tea and crumpets. The scene was evidently clear as Kira dodged the question upon his arrival at her apartment.

"Where's Hutch?" and Hutch emerged from the bedroom tucking his shirt. This ignited an altercation between the partners. As Starsky sat in the car he peered around to make sure no one was around, especially Kira and Hutch.

They had just wrapped up a case involving a psychologically challenged Vietnam Vet, named Joey Webster, and his delusional fixation with blonde women at a local dance hall. In Joey's mind of chaos he was following orders to assassinate blonde female spies. The man was a walking arsenal. Kira, a recent new addition to the department, was assigned to go undercover as a dancer at the dance hall, along with Starsky and Hutch as courting male clients.

The night ended with Kira pulling away from Joey's clutches and Hutch scuffling and falling on the dance hall floor with Joey. This was after discovering that the piece of rubber they found in evidence from the recent murder of Susan came from a cane that Joey used for his predominant limp. Prior to the scuffle with Hutch, Joey had produced a grenade which was catapulted into the air by Hutch and diverted to his partner. Starsky tossed the grenade to the back of the dance hall and used his body as a shield to cover Kira on the floor. The grenade exploded, sending dust, debris, and glass flying. Starsky sat up; Kira crawled over to Joey and disregarded his presence completely. This gave Starsky a much needed reality check that Kira wasn't the person he wanted her to be.

For the first time in their partnership, Starsky and Hutch remained in their neutral corners with no effort to go to the other's aid, just a momentary glance.

Hutch felt some sympathy for Joey experiencing a psychological meltdown, the idea of Kira discarding two men who she claimed to loved, aside to crawl to the aid of a murderer didn't set well with him. Hutch stood near Kira, who was coddling Joey, and felt his stomach revolt and anger consume him. His first thought was Starsky risked his life to protect her and she just brushed him away. "What kind of woman does that? The man just attempted to kill her, us."

The dance hall became chaos with backup arriving and Starsky excused himself and notified his superior, Captain Dobey he would handle the reports. The captain stood and watched Starsky, who displayed an edge of coldness within his stride as he exited. He was all business. Hutch stood with Madam Bouvet the dance hall owner and watched his partner leave, the sadness, and guilt present in his features.

The captain took a deep breath and thought to himself. "This isn't good, work this out boys!"

That left Starsky sitting in the parking lot at Bay City PD not really knowing what to do, hurt and angry and mostly lost. The usual wrap up of a case meant he and Hutch would sit back and have a few beers and a takeout, but not tonight, maybe never again. Starsky had completed the necessary reports, now he sat in thought.

"Showed ya Hutchinson, now who's the brains? Take that report and stuff it." Upon the flash of headlights, he noticed Hutch pulling into the parking lot and decided to slide down further in his seat and hide so he wouldn't be seen.

Hutch pulled in a few spots down, glanced to see his partner's car. He sat there for a moment and sighed, "What have I done? He barely looked at me, hates me!"

Hutch exited his car and slowly walked by looking at the car, 'The tomato' that he nicknamed and so many times sat shot gun, and wondered if he would ever again. Hutch looked around as his gut told him his partner was near or watching him. He headed for the garage elevator and paused, the doors opened as he entered and turned. He was distracted by the roar of the Torino's engine. Hutch jumped back through the doors in a full leap and strut to catch his partner. "S-T-A-R-S-K-Y!"

The racing red blur with a white stripe exited the parking lot. The sound of the roaring engine echoed along with screeching of the tires and smoke. Hutch stopped and put his hands up into the air. "Dammit!" He felt his stomach turn. He made his way to the elevator.

Hutch reached the office and made his way to his desk. He felt so defeated and sad. He looked across at his partner's desk, which displayed 'neat and organized' and that made him very uncomfortable. As neat as his partner was at home his desk always displayed mishap. Hutch saw a folder on his desk and pulled his chair, he slowly opened the folder to find a neatly typed report along with a signature from his partner. He sat with a blank look on his face and read. "Signed, typed and words spelled correctly…I've really screwed things up if Starsky is filing complete, accurate report." Hutch closed the file folder and had a temporary smile on his face that disappeared and a frown took its place. "You are such an idiot, Hutchinson."

Minnie, a computer specialist and officer, made her way through the door with a thick pile of folders and placed them on the file cabinet. She looked over and saw Hutch deep in thought and made her way to his desk, then leaned on the edge. "I'll give ya a penny for your thoughts handsome." She smiled.

Hutch startled and blushed. "Hey, Minnie."

She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "A certain blue eyed devil was in earlier with the same frown."

Hutch looked up at her and bowed his head.

"Kira did a number on the two of you, didn't she?" Her eyes widened beneath her glasses.

Hutch looked at Minnie, no smile or expression. "You could say that she's the wedge." He rubbed his face and sighed, "I've been a total jerk."

Minnie chewed her gum and gazed at the blond before her. "She's toxic waste if ya ask me; saw her act a mile away!"

Hutch smirked. "Yeah, well, I'm no better. I hurt, Starsky and I don't know how to fix it or if I can fix it."

Minnie reached out and touched Hutch's chin lightly with her fingers. "Honey, the two of you have been through too much, two halves that make a whole. Go after him and don't take no for an answer." She winked at him. "Besides, he's feeling' as lousy as you."

Hutch rubbed his forehead and smiled at Minnie. "Marry me?"

Minnie stood and tugged at her shirt. "Sorry doll, you'll have to stand in line." She slowly walked away.

Hutch shook his head and opened the folder and signed the report. He picked up the folder and headed towards the captain's office when he noticed Starsky's desk drawer partially opened. Hutch stopped and pulled it out further to notice two white envelopes, one addressed to him and one to, Captain Dobey. Hutch reached in and retrieved the unsealed envelopes as his hands trembled.

Hutch opened the one addressed to, Captain Dobey and pulled the sheet of paper out and read. "I, David Michael Starsky, hereby give notice to the Bay City Police Department and request a transfer. This letter will serve as my resignation."

Hutch stopped and looked up to make sure no one saw him as he felt his world begin to crumble. The lump that formed in his throat made it difficult for him to swallow. Hutch folded the paper back and put it in the envelope. He placed the envelope down and took the one addressed to him. He hesitated and opened it as everything around him became silent:

"Hutch,

I'm resigning and requested a transfer as soon as possible. It's been a while since you've been you, it's like you wanted me to hate you as much as you hate yourself. I could never do that and won't be forced into it, no matter what you do.

Maybe taking our badges back after Lionel's death was a mistake; maybe you did that for me. As far as Kira, you knew I had feelings for her. I told you I did and you went over there and slept with her. I don't know how I feel about her; maybe it wasn't love at all, wonder if I'll ever really love again. Kira she's a piece of work, all I have to say.

You hurt me. You hurt us. I can't take a chance on us not connecting, that so called intuitive thing we do, because that's what we do and without it we are risking one of us getting hurt or killed. If you were hurt or killed I couldn't live with that. I'm going solo, don't want a new partner. It's been a ride and be safe.

Starsk"

Hutch found himself shaking inside and his emotions rising and feeling as though every inch of his body were electrified by shock. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Placing the folded letter back in the envelope, a sudden surge of anger and frustration swept over him. He grabbed both envelopes and folded them and put them in his coat pocket.

"Oh no you're not, Starsk. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I've got to make this right!"

sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssssssss

Starsky sat at Huggy's in a booth in the corner by himself peeling a label off his beer bottle. His mood obvious by the long face and sad eyes. The boys frequented the bar to hang out and see Huggy, their informant friend. The bar was quiet, as it was 11:30 pm, and the patrons made their way to the exit. Huggy, at the bar, finished serving two ladies; he turned to see Starsky still sitting in a slump of self wallowing.

Huggy shook his head and sighed and walked over slowly and eased into the booth. "Am I taking my life into my own hands?"

Starsky looked up and looked back at his beer bottle. "You're safe, Hug!"

Huggy stretched. "You okay?"

Starsky shrugged and pursed his lips. "No, don't know if I ever will be."

Huggy raised his eyebrows, "Blondie hurt you bad, huh?"

Starsky looked up at Huggy and back down. "Yep. He slept with her, Hug. He knew I was with her and he did it anyways." Starsky's pain weighed heavy in his words, his eyes deep in sorrow.

Huggy folded his arms in front of his chest. "That's not like, Hutch. Was he clear on the situation with the lady?"

Starsky took a deep breath. "I told him, I've been with Kira for almost a month. Thought it was serious... huh, I don't know now, think we were being' played."

Huggy nodded, looking at the table. "Way I hear it Starsky, she was playin you, Hutch, and a couple of other turkeys." Huggy sighed. "As far as the lady, is it possible she wasn't communicating her relations clearly? I may be off base here, but Blondie's been battling some ghosts, waffling between self-justification and self-loathing. He's been on a down slide and questioning his motives and testing you. I ain't sayin' its okay, but maybe he needs you more than he's willin' to admit. Sometimes it's easier to push than to pull."

Starsky leaned forward and rubbed the side of his face. "I don't hate him, Hug. I just don't know if we can be us. I trusted him."

Huggy turned, stretched his arms. "Starsky without Hutch is like a pig without the pork, know I said that before."

Starsky grinned, and then his face saddened again. "Haven't made it official with Dobey, I'm transferring."

Huggy stood. "Any chance of changing your mind?"

Starsky slid out of the booth and adjusted his jacket. "NO, I don't know...Thanks Hug, I'm gonna go home. Are ya sure ya didn't go to shrink school?" Starsky reached in his pocket to pay, Huggy.

Huggy put his hand up. "I'm a man of many mysteries; it's on me, Curly."

Starsky reached and squeezed Huggy's shoulder. "Thanks, you're a, pal."

Huggy watched Starsky walk away with a lack of bounce that was normally there. "Don't let that get out on the streets, you'll ruin my reputation!" Huggy put his head down and thought to himself, 'Hutch isn't' gonna set well with this. I know I'm not!'

hhhhhhhhhhhssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh

Hutch arrived at Starsky's place, coming to a screeching halt as he pulled to the opposite side of the driveway. Hutch slammed the steering wheel when he saw that the Torino was not parked there. The distraught blond had driven everywhere and was feeling overwhelmed. The letters and their words weaved in his mind along with the scuffle they had at Kira's. The vision of his best friend's eyes filled with hurt and anger drilled holes in his heart. Hutch took a deep breath. "Well, I'm not leaving."

Hutch bolted out of his car and took the stairs two at a time and retrieved his key and entered. He turned on the lamp by the couch and put his jacket on the coat hanger by the door along with his gun and holster. Hutch went to the refrigerator and pulled a beer and sat on the couch. He took a long overdue deep breath and popped the beer cap and took a long swallow.

He scanned the familiar surroundings of Starsky's place, his second home. It was amazing, he thought, how he felt safer there than his own place. The couch was uncomfortable, but it was Starsky's and that made it comforting. Hutch listened to the silence, but it didn't feel quiet, because it was Starsky's and it held his vibrant energy.

The bookcase housed a picture of he and Starsky standing in front of the Torino, arms over each other's shoulders. The smile on his partner's face and his own smile brought forth warm memories. Hutch weighed in his mind and spoke out loud. "It was about me and thee and just being us and getting the bad guys, what changed? What…changed?" He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I changed and shut you out, partner."

Hutch laid his head back and without intention slipped into a quiet sleep. A dream brought Hutch to the ocean, standing on the edge of a cliff as the breeze moved his soft blond hair. He stood there looking at the beauty of the sun beginning to set. The moment was soon interrupted by the screaming pleas of his partner. "HUTCH…HELP!"

Hutch looked around, but couldn't see his partner. "Starsky, where are you?" Hutch continued to look around as the plea came again.

"Hutch, I'm down here!"

Hutch knelt down and looked over the cliff's edge. The brunet struggled to reach up as he stood on a crumbling ledge, "Hutch help!"

Hutch dropped to the ground onto his stomach and extended his hand. "I got you, Buddy. Hang on!" Hutch's fingers brushed against Starsky's, but couldn't make them grip. Starsky seemed to be slipping down further and further.

"Hutch helps me!"

Hutch could feel himself panicking and fear overwhelmed him. "Starsky, I've almost got you, just a little further!"

Starsky began to slip down further. The ledge gave way, and the tortured blond watched in horror. Hutch jumped off the couch in a state of an emotional meltdown. His breathing was rapid and he was in a deep sweat. He reached to touch his face when he noticed his hands shaking. "I can't lose him!"

The door to the apartment opened with Starsky pausing at the door. He noticed Hutch standing, visibly shaken. Hutch put his hands down and looked at his partner, embarrassed along with fear of uncertainty. Starsky had a brown paper bag in one hand; he looked at Hutch then away, and then walked in slamming the door behind him. "What are you doing here, Hutch?"

Hutch tried to compose what he had left of his nerves. "Umm, wanted to make sure you were, okay."

Starsky placed the bag on the kitchen table and slipped off his jacket. He unlatched his holstered gun and placed them on the hanger near the closet. "I'm okay, but ya already knew that. You need to leave, Hutch."

Hutch reached for his beer and sighed. "Mind if I finish my beer?"

Starsky walked back to the table and pulled a bottle of tequila from the paper bag. He went into the kitchen and poured some into a glass. "Whatever. You know the way out." He grabbed the bottle and the glass and headed to the bedroom.

ssssssssshhhhhhhhhsssssssssss

Hutch sat back on the couch and removed his shoes and tossed them near the door. A half hour later, Starsky reappeared with the bottle and a glass in hand wearing his pj's and blue T-shirt, with evidence of half the bottle of liquor missing.

Starsky glanced to see Hutch's shoes by the door in a heap. "I don't recall extending ya an invitation. I recall askin' ya to leave." Starsky drank the clear liquid in the glass he held making a displeased expression to the burn of its contents.

Hutch laid his head back still trying to gather himself from the dream he had. "You are correct. I haven't finished my beer." Hutch could feel the underlined current of tension building in his partner and his own turmoil of wanting things to be back to what was, 'them, us, me and thee.'

Starsky slammed the bottle on the kitchen table and pulled a chair. He sat staring at the bottle and reached to pour another glass. He looked over toward the couch to see Hutch leaning his head back. "What do you want, Hutch?"

Hutch studied the ceiling, he cleared his throat, "W-w-what possible punishment could I-I in-in-inflict upon myself that would be as horrible as losing you?" His words shaking underneath him, he stuttered, indicating how nervous he was.

Starsky looked at him and away, he tightened his jaw. He was not expecting this from Hutch. A sudden flurry of emotions filled his eyes, but he couldn't give in. Starsky in conflict wanted to slam Hutch hard, but his heart wouldn't allow it. "I've been here all along, Hutch." Starsky took another long gulp of tequila and shook his head. "I need some advice on something. Where did I go wrong with you and Kira?"

Hutch froze. He was not expecting this reaction at all. Hutch rubbed his finger across his jaw. "You didn't go wrong, bud…Starsky." Hutch refrained from calling him buddy; he didn't deserve to use the comforting name. "She wasn't in it for the long term, she wanted us both, said she loved both of us for different reasons."

Starsky leaned on the table and slouched. "Yeah, well, she sure had me fooled." Starsky took another gulp. "Why did you sleep with her after I told ya I loved her?"

Hutch looked to the ceiling once again and sighed. "I slept with her before that; she never mentioned you two were together." Hutch's stomach turned. "She was playing us and it was too late. I went there to confront her and when I realized it...it was too late. I hate myself...her."

Starsky rubbed his forehead and started to feel the vice grips of the liquor. "I never hated someone as much as I did you, Hutch, at that moment at Kira's. I hit ya, then I saw it in your eyes, ya cared for me more than for yourself. If I meant something to ya, why would ya do what ya did?"

Hutch placed his hand over his chest in disbelief. The man he knew as his best friend and partner, even in the midst of rage, still thought of him first. Hutch reached and touched his mustache running his finger across. "I hurt you. There's no excuse. I've been on a path of self destruction with everyone around me in tow. A self-righteous bastard out to prove he didn't give a fuck anymore or cared, total arrogance."

Starsky looked up at him. "You said it, I didn't." His eyes rolled.

Hutch sighed. "I couldn't stop it. Nothing mattered...accept..except when it all came crashing down and it literally punched me. You punched me." Hutch covered his face with his hands and took a long, deep breath and let it out. "Oh God, Starsk, I'm so fucking sorry!"

Starsky wiped the tears that stained his cheek. He stood and walked over to the stereo and grabbed an album. "Am I supposed to forget the whole thing, because you're sorry? Kira is one thing, Hutch, but you were the best friend I got in the whole world." The tone wasn't bitter, just heartfelt, but direct.

Hutch looked over at him uncertain how to reply, did the words mean they were still friends?

Starsky staggered a little. "Just need to make sense of this whole mess!" His shoulders were tense. "We're done talkin'. Get out, Hutch, just get the hell out!" The album began to turn as the music played, a song called, 'Have You Ever Seen the Rain?' Starsky didn't look at Hutch as he returned to the kitchen table.

The song played, Hutch listened to the words, as he was certain there was a message in there for him, like a brick it hit him, he heard it:

 _"Someone told me long ago there's a calm before the storm, I know; It's been comin' for some time. When it's over, so they say, it'll rain a sunny day, I know; Shinin' down like water._

Hutch closed his eyes and absorbed the words as they sent a clear message that his partner was more than aware of his inner demons.

 _"I want to know, Have you ever seen the rain? I want to know, Have you ever seen the rain. Comin' down on a sunny day?_

 _Yesterday, and days before, Sun is cold and rain is hard, I know; Been that way for all my time. 'Til forever, on it goes through the circle, fast and slow, I know; It can't stop, I wonder. I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain, rain, rain, rain?"_

The record skipped, Starsky stood abruptly and stormed over, grabbed it and tossed it across the room. "It doesn't matter. It never did, probably all a lie you and me, family, friends and women they leave ya, die or betray ya. We put our lives on the line every day and for what, to get our heads blown off? We ain't made a difference! The 'What if's' you were right!" He could barely contain his rage.

Hutch was startled by the outburst and hostility. "For God's sake, I don't buy it one bit. This isn't you talking." Hutch ejected himself off the couch, infringing his presence in his partner's space. Hutch simmered to unleash pent up anger, his eyes wide and the color blue intense as he raised his finger and pointed at his partner. "I betrayed you, and I am sorry, Buddy. What we do DOES make a difference! Don't go dark on me, Starsk. We can't control what destiny has in store. Can the 'what ifs'!"

Starsky turned to him, his eyes raged and focused and chuckled. "Ya got that backwards, Mr. Doom and Gloom. I ain't been the one that's had a stick up his ass for months now. Ya've been in a boat without your oars." Starsky turned and walked away from him and went back to the table and reached for the glass.

Hutch's jaw tightened. "Don't you think you've had enough of that stuff?" His voice was sharp.

Starsky had the glass in his right hand and the middle finger up on his left directed at Hutch and drank. He stood there and slammed the glass on the table, shattering it in his hand. "You can let your sorry ass out!" He pointed with his right hand with glass falling and blood dripping.

Hutch cringed with concern, the rage disappearing. "Starsky, you're bleeding!" Hutch lunged forward and grabbed his arm instinctively as he had done so many times in the past in the wake of an injury.

Starsky stood there looking at his hand, blood dripped. "Terrr-rific."

Hutch immediately went into action and retrieved the necessary first aid items and dropped them on the counter by the sink. Starsky semi staggered over and turned the faucet on and placed his hand under the running water and winced. Hutch reached to touch his arm.

"It's okay, don't be going all White Knight and comforting me because ya feeling guilty."

Hutch fixed his eyes directly into Starsky's, the message spoken ' _let me fix it'_ ' and began cleaning the cut with skill and tenderness. Hutch examined the cut and applied antiseptic, gauze and wrapped then taped it securely. "No glass. It could use a few stitches."

Starsky looked at him and shouted. "MAYBE I'LL JUST BLEED TO DEATH, PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!" His words loud and slurred as he made his way back to the couch and sat.

Hutch grabbed a dust pan and broom and cleaned up the glass on the table and floor and discarded it. "Don't talk like that, total bullshit, Starsky. By the way, that stunt you thought about pulling with the grenade, REAL STUPID!" The words came out louder and angrier than he had intended. Hutch hated the tone and the words as it instilled his most inner fear of losing his partner.

There was a knock at the door Starsky ignored it. Hutch hesitated, then made his way over and opened the door to see Huggy standing there. Hutch, now reserved, stepped back to let him in the apartment. "Hug, what brings you here?"

Huggy swaggered in. "Saw the lights on, was wonderin' if ya need a ref. I could hear ya a half block away."

Starsky touched the bandage on his hand but never looked at Huggy. "Hutch was just leavin!"

Hutch looked at Huggy and closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm not leaving until we r-r-resolve this...us!"

Huggy could see the pain in Hutch's eyes, he could also see the old Hutch and the clarity of doom dissipated.

Starsky clenched his fists causing the right hand to bleed through the bandage. He sat never once looked or greeted Huggy. "You said your apology, terminer', done, the end; we got nothing else to say. Bon Voyage!"

Hutch looked over at Starsky then away and exhaled. Huggy put his hand up to the upset blond in a gesture of 'hold on'. "Curly's speakin' French this is worse than I thought now who's on the down slide. Thinkin' the two of you turkey's need your butts kicked, may knock some sense into ya. Ya got The Bear in a foul mood; BCPD's best, begginin' to wonder, juveniles, I tell ya, juveniles. I'll be seein you." Huggy winked at Hutch and left.

Hutch rubbed his neck and walked toward the kitchen and proceeded to make coffee.

Starsky put his left hands to his face and gently rubbed and sighed. "Hutch, please leave?" Starsky's voice was calm and his request was more of a plea than a demand. Hutch tended to the coffee. His head lowered, his hands shook. The sound of Starsky's voice hurt more now as a plea than if he had shouted.

Starsky played with his bandage again. He leaned his head back. "I'm resigning and transferring to my pop's precinct in, New York." Starsky blinked several times. "I'm just as much to blame, shoulda stuck my hand out further to ya."

Hutch's head turned as he remembered the dream he had earlier and had numerous other times over the past year.

Starsky picked up his head and plucked at the bandage. "I've been havin' dreams that you're on the beach and the waves are pullin ya and ya callin out to me and I'm reachin for ya. You keep going further and further." Starsky shook his head. "I can be a real pain in the ass, maybe I pushed when I shoulda pulled. I don't know, thought you'd shake your mood."

Hutch turned and leaned against the counter. His hand rubbed his forehead. He turned and picked up the two cups of coffee, walked over to the coffee table and sat in front of Starsky. He placed one cup next to himself and extended the other cup to the inebriated figure before him. Starsky took it and sipped and placed it next to Hutch on the coffee table. Starsky played with his bandage. Hutch placed his elbows on his knees and leaned as he put his hands together in a prayer fashion in front.

"It was me, Starsk. I was dissatisfied with myself, life, the lack of justice. Depressed with hardness inside and knew I was doing it but couldn't stop myself. Dealing with constant fears is no excuse for my behavior."

Hutch moved his fingers nervously. "I've been having dreams too, except I was on a cliff and you are on a ledge below calling for help, but the ledge starts to give way." Hutch shuffled his hands. "I screwed up, really screwed up. I'm sorry!"

Starsky crossed his arms over his chest; he couldn't make eye contact, several moments of silence hung. Hutch extended his right hand to touch Starsky's injured hand and stopped when Starsky spoke. "It's late, Hutch, and I want to meet Dobey early in the morning to make arrangements."

Hutch's eyes closed as he bowed his head into his hands.

Starsky slowly stood and retrieved his coffee cup and walked away, swagger no longer a stagger.

Hutch raised his head, evident that he had reached the breaking point of his emotions. The tears that threatened to pour caused his voice to break a little. "Starsky I- I'm back, can't you see that you've pulled me back to what matters the most you, me...us."

Starsky stood at the kitchen table not able to turn around as he was on the verge of tears. He wanted so much to turn around and tell Hutch to let it go.

Hutch looked up and saw no reaction from his friend. He stood and went to his coat and pulled out the two envelopes, looked at them as he slipped his shoes on. He retrieved his coat, gun, and holster. The shoulders slumped, he walked back over to the coffee table and dropped the envelopes and headed for the door. Trembling fingers reached for the doorknob as the tears rolled down his face.

"I-I c-can't do this, Starsk." Hutch paralyzed with a pain of loss, stood there and dropped his coat and gun and holster, leaned his head on the door as a whispered sob trailed.

Starsky heard him and couldn't take it anymore. He turned quietly and walked over toward Hutch and stopped when he saw his letters on the coffee table; he bowed his head and smirked. "After all these years and all ya got to say is I can't do this, Starsk, and ya screwed up?"

Hutch raised his head slowly and turned to glance at Starsky whose eyes twinkled with unshed tears. "Ya big lummox! Show's ya who the brains are in this partnership."

Hutch turned with his mouth open and followed Starsky with his eyes. Starsky walked over to the coffee table retrieved the envelopes and held them. He smiled. "Winters are too cold in, New York. It'll rust up my car. Truth is my partner needs me, big clumsy blond." Starsky ripped the envelopes into shreds and placed them on the coffee table.

Hutch turned completely around with his eyes wide and face wet.

Starsky smiled. "Look ya apologized, I accept it. You hurt me, Blondie; broke my trust, but you're my best friend and my pal. Don't ever do that again, deal?"

Hutch stood in front of Starsky as he smiled. Starsky looked him directly in the eyes. "No more this getting in your head!" Hutch grinned. "Deal, Buddy?"

Starsky's emotions were fragile. He reached out and pulled Hutch into an embrace. "Come on ya, big dummy."

The two embraced, Hutch beamed with a smile from ear to ear and laughed with arms wrapped tightly around his partner. Starsky smiled and grasped tightly as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

ssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhssssssssssssssss

Parked outside in a white Cadillac sat Huggy glancing up at Starsky's window. Huggy was determined to get his two friends back together if he had to physically knock some sense into them. Huggy looked up to see the lights go out. "Well, I'll be, Huggy my man, maybe Starsky had something there...a shrink, huh." Huggy looked back up at the window and started his car. "The world is right again!"

hhhhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh

The following morning Hutch emerged from the shower with a change of clothes. It was so nice to be the second half of 'us' and connected. He knew that things were still a little strained and only time would heal all.

Hutch didn't feel the weight of depression and self-loathing that he had felt for so long. The urge to jog again, and chase it down with health shakes simmered in his thoughts. Hutch walked over to the coffee table and picked up the shredded envelopes, he held them in his hands. "You don't know how much I need you, Starsk!"

Hutch looked up to see his partner standing in his jeans and blue V-neck. Starsky heard what Hutch said. "It goes both ways, Blintz."

Starsky made his way into the kitchen and started to make coffee. Hutch brought the contents of the envelopes and placed them in the trash. He leaned his back against the counter. His hands balanced his tall frame. He seemed deep in thought.

Starsky noticed as he put the finishing touches in the coffee cups. "You okay?"

Hutch smiled and looked over. "Feels good to be back, Gordo." He raised one hand and squeezed his partner's arm.

Starsky nodded and smiled. "Yeah!" The brunet turned and leaned against the counter. He ran his hand through his curls. "Huggy finally left, sat out there for quite some time. His acting skills need work, but he made his point."

Hutch shook his head and laughed. "He stood to lose a good friend, too."

Starsky laughed and rubbed his eyes. "Anything to avoid a soapy scene!"

Both men knew there was an elephant in the room and both were hesitant in bringing her up. Hutch leaned forward and glanced as Starsky turned to him. "Ya thinking the same thing, what about, Kira?"

Hutch nodded. "You got it, partner!"

Starsky shuffled and a devious smile came across his face with a spark of twinkle in his eyes. Hutch noticed this immediately. "You're not serious are you?"

Starsky nodded. "Let's give the beautiful blonde what she wants!"

Hutch stiffened and blushed. "Starsky, I love ya, Buddy, but not that way!"

Starsky snorted. "Don't knock it till ya try it, baby blue." Starsky raised his eyebrows and winked.

Hutch started laughing and looked away as he blushed. "Gross, Starsky!"

They both looked at each other as Hutch slightly turned. "We meet her tonight at 9:30 at Huggy's."

Starsky continued to laugh as Hutch's face went blank. "Starsky, what if she goes for it?"

Starsky batted his eyelashes and leaned toward his partner. "Oh come on, Hutch. I see ya lookin at my ass, ya want me." Hutch rolled his eyes and walked away from Starsky, flushed.

sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhsssssssssss

The showdown was set in place with a note left for Kira at BCPD. "Meet me at The Pits at 9:30."

Later that evening they meet Kira at Huggy's. They played their parts in rivalry and both stood in front of her as she nodded her head no to each one. They both looked at each other and exited arm over arm and left her sitting there alone with a bewildered look on her face.

The two stood outside laughing and gave each other a quick embrace followed by more laughter.

Hutch rubbed his face. "Exhilarating performance, if I say so myself."

Starsky adjusted his jacket. "Two weeks and two days we lost over her, I wish her all the best. Life is too short for grudges; we need to take every moment and embrace it, Blondie! Me and thee ride again!"

Hutch heard the words. A sudden chill raced down his spine along with a cutting knife of fear, but he tried to shake it. Hutch smiled as Starsky's words played in his mind and looked at his partner. "Me and thee!"

Starsky began to whistle the song. "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?" With a bounce to his step, he walked to his car. Hutch shook his head and thought to himself 'You are my calm before a storm and the rain that washes it all away, Buddy' and followed him.

A few weeks later, after a match of ping pong during renovations at the station. Starsky won the match and a full course meal bet. The boys headed out to the BCPD parking lot as they made plans. Hutch stood waiting for Starsky to unlock the door on the passenger side of the Torino when he heard the crunching of metal and noticed a police car clipping another and heading their way.

"STARSKY, GET DOWN!" The screeching of tires and rapid gun fire took place. Hutch slammed himself to the ground, rolling to gain his stance and return fire. "STARSKY!..Star-sky?" He rushed around the front of the Torino to a halt to see his partner on his side with his head on the rim of the rear tire, motionless.

Hutch stood paralyzed. The gun dangled from his hand, he couldn't move, 'this can't be happening, GOD, no!'

Hutch flashed back to the night they met Kira at Huggy's as he remembered Starsky's comment, "Two weeks, two days we lost over her, I wish her all the best. Life is too short for grudges; we need to take every moment and embrace it, Blondie! Me and thee ride again!" The chill returned to haunt him.

 **"Have You Ever Seen The Rain"** Someone told me long ago There's a calm before the storm, I know; It's been comin' for some time. When it's over, so they say, It'll rain a sunny day, I know; Shinin' down like water.

I want to know, Have you ever seen the rain? I want to know, Have you ever seen the rain Comin' down on a sunny day?

Yesterday, and days before, Sun is cold and rain is hard, I know; Been that way for all my time. 'Til forever, on it goes Through the circle, fast and slow, I know; It can't stop, I wonder.

 _Yeah!_

The End to a new beginning…


End file.
